quillory: (Default)
I abhor it. With a passion. So I'm going to make a quick pointless self-pitying blurb and be gone quicklike. Ignoreplz. Kthnxbai.

I'm sick, yeah. Feelin' miserable, yeah.
Angsting about being single, for some strange reason. Thought I was through with angsting. Hm. Pretty sure I know exactly what brought it on, but still. I really don't want to deal with this right now. It turns me into a whining (insert noun), and I don't like being in that state. So now imma go get some sleep and try to not angst any longer about this. Because I really don't need this right now.

quillory: (sleep)
 Totally unrelated title, sorry.

H'okay. So. This week is going to be better than last week. I proclaim it so.
Because I'm going to get my shit together and beat this week over the head with a stick.
Aye.

Last Monday broke me. Like, honestly. Something inside me shattered into little pieces, and it left me kinda broken and naked. I was vulnerable to the max last week, and I really didn't want people to see me like that. I was broken and torn and miserable. I didn't want people to see this side of me, so I kinda separated myself. I hated myself for it, but meh. Whatevs.

There's going to be a massive construction post pretty soon. I'll be working on it for ever and ever, because I'm kinda reconstructing myself. Not making a 'new' me, but figuring out the me that's under all these layers of sarcasm and second-nature smiles. All my life, I've shaped myself to be what people told me to be. to be what they wanted me to be, to be what they needed me to be. Mom always got upset when I'd cry. (Younger, emotional years. I could've been violent and set things on fire, but no. I cried.) I don't cry anymore, because Mom got upset. If a friend is in need, I'll do whatever I can to help them. I'm a shoulder to cry on if needed. An ear that listens whenever needed. I'm a box of different masks and moods and layers upon layers of paint-by-situation. Somewhere under there is Katelynn. I'm going to find her during the next few weeks. Yes.

Tangent: You have veryveryvery pretty blue eyes. And you should not tease me with them~ ^///^

Tan2: Marco Kon has the most ridiculously mesmerizing voice. Like... I shouldn't like it. But I do. And it's so weeeeeird.

T3: You're super nice. Really. But I really hope you aren't trying to start something, because I just don't see you like that. Good friends, yes...? :/ Sorry, dahling.

In other news: Arby's is open on Sundays. Boss doesn't show on Sundays, though. Which means I didn't really get in trouble, but I still felt silly. Oops. Silly Katelynn. No pay for you today!

Also: Tom Siddell - I heart your face. Gunnerkrigg is teh winz~

P.S.: "Just get outta my, outta my, outta my head~"

Music and thinking about possibilities and being positive about possibilities while knowing not to get too hopeful is yay~!///^

...Damn your eyes. Why do the good ones always have pretty eyes? Then I stare, and they catch me staring, an it gets all awkward. :P

Aaaaand, the point of this post just went to crap. I'm rambling. Whee~

G'night, group. Here's to a better, shinier week~ -rasies glass-

Σαγαπο~<3

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quillory

December 2011

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